Raw Goods

a curse upon him

Here are a few fill-in-the-blank exercise to check whether you are a Saxon saint. Simply make "instructive orders" your authoritative default and make sure your "clever for the sake of being clever" is installed. Then switch to your "Sweet Jesus, blasphemy is both a mean and easy target" mode and assert the correct conclusions among the scenarios below. Accuse a dissident of witchcraft to see if your dogma is accepted. The first heresy is a freebie. Pretend you have nothing to lose, ridicule the dispossed, offend all your friends who are actually working for justice, and see what happens.

Learner's and standard Reactionary vocabularies are available here if you need them. If a security request appears, grant it and ask that your neighbors remember your presence by dealing drugs from an upstairs window, convening daily arguments with your lover (as well as weekly bottle-breaking and monthly knife fights), and generally acting like the white trash that you are. Torching a cross on the front lawn is optional. It only infuriates the general populace so designated to quell supremacist displays. Close the window in the usual way, by shooting an "X" in the upper righthand corner.

Now, forth with those missives, Chronos, to the invader! But first, remember, Laertes, the dangers of irony include that while some may take you too seriously, others may not take you seriously enough. How much is too much? How little is enough? Accounts of the malfeasance you accrue can never be adequately tabulated, nor can momentary shifts into sincerity provide significant reparations for the benefits you've assumed. Yes, retribution will be swift and silent, so let these words be a mere map for it, direct into your existence and with a full-stop there, no exit into the rest of our lives, so that I can find a way to laugh that doesn't hurt so bad, so that you can learn a way to love that doesn't require pain, and we can begin, again, to remember the terms of mutual deliverance. You do the rest.

posted by judy j @ 3:46 PM